Chemo nr 3!

Third chemotherapy check! I start feeling it more and more… But still trying to hang in there. Not easy though!

I could really use a trip right now!! I miss travelling soo much! And there are so many people I’d love to see! The reason I’m not doing it is because of the risk of infections… It’s autumn so high season for such! So for now I’m happy even for short excursions.

I’ve had some challenging weeks lately. Turns out focusing on others’ problems wasn’t that smart during the first chemo week. I felt irritated this time and I don’t know what caused it. Exercise helped later on… But the margins are narrow!

So a tip if you are on chemo. Don’t take on more than you can handle. That means don’t expect to be able to manage what you could before. If you do that’s great but don’t push yourself.

If you are a person around someone on chemo: I’m sorry but your boring job, lack of time and your ageing are not issues they need to hear about. Another thing they might not need to hear is how lively they look. Fortunately or unfortunately I don’t look sick. At least not the days I feel good enough to go out. Makeup and a wig helps me look as usual. It doesn’t always reflect how I feel though and I try to avoid complaining. So please don’t ask me again when I’m coming back to work. Right now I don’t give a shit. I still have a lot to go through and then I need to recover… in every way!

This year taught me (or just reminded me) that I’m not irreplaceable, not immortal and definitely not incapable. So focusing on myself during this journey (and long after) feels more relevant than ever!

Most of what I’m writing now seems like the opposite of things I said before but that’s how it is apparently!